I didn't think it was hard...

May 3, 2010 (Monday)

Can you actually feel sad for losing something that you haven't actually had to begin with?

I, believe it or not, am sad. I never knew that losing something, in this case, an actual baby, hurt that much. I knew about this since three weeks ago, but I never wrote about it. Why did I not writer about it? Probably for two reasons: one, I was still hoping that the second ultra sound would come out better than the first and two, I wasn't really in the mood for writing in this blog or any of our blogs. I wasn't even in the mood for doing anything.

First Ultrasound
I was really excited to see my baby at 6 weeks. I read that you would actually see your baby already... well, shadows of your baby at this early stage. My OB calls is the baby pole. Whatever that pole was, we were excited to see it. We woke up early to get in line at the Women's health section of Medical City. The department opens at 8am and we were there at exactly 8am. My plan was to have this checked then go to office in the afternoon.

I was the second girl to enter one of the rooms. I liked the rooms in Medical city, since the rooms where they do the scan were very spacious and not divided by curtains, but by actual walls. The girl who did my scan was very gracious. I haven't had any transvaginal ultra sound scans before. When she was looking at the monitor, she was squinting. I knew that there was something wrong. She asked me if I experienced any bleeding. I said "no". She called a senior consultant to show her the monitor and this elderly woman walked in. She looked at the scan and said to me, "hmmm, we see a sac but there is no baby". I immediately answered, "so is that bad?". She replied "it's best to have your OB explain. I think you better ask her right away". While I changed in the room, the elderly woman said to the younger one, "I think i better write a paper on the increasing cases of early miscarriages." That made me panic! I knew that there was definitely something wrong. EJ and I waited for an hour to get the results then we rushed to Makati Med to consult with Dra. Aherrera. She said that she wanted me to take another ultrasound after a week. She said that normally, by the 6th week, there should be a hint of the baby already in the picture and this wasn't good. I was crying in front of her. I really felt bad. I never knew it would affect me that much.

Second ultra sound
My second ultra sound was done at St. Luke's. We wanted to have it in a different hospital so that we would have an unbiased second opinion. We were there early again. By this time, my family knew everything already and even some friends. It was easier to accept already and I already psyched myself to bear whatever result. St. Luke's people were more pleasant than those in Medical city (based on my experience). They were all smiling and gentle. Again, the lady looking at my scans was squinting and again the same question, "have you ever experienced spotting or bleeding?". Again, i answered "no". The results came out after and hour and again, no baby. The results indicated to try another scan after a week.

I am actually not hoping anymore. Tomorrow will be my last ultra sound and if there will be no baby again, i will have to undergo D&C (Dilation and Curettage : americanpregnancy.org). So, this is actually what had happened. I'm on my 9th week (supposedly), but still no baby.

They say it's better to cry it all out and i'll feel better. I'll try to do that.

Quirks Marketing Philippines

April 10, 2010 (Saturday)

How coincendental is it that right whe you are about to know if you are pregnant or not, friends have baby stuff that may be reviewed for ManilaMommy.com or ManilaReviews.com. I think I should be helping out Ate Nina in her blogs for ManilaMommy.com already.

I suddenly realized that I have friends who bring in baby stuff and who have been suppliers of Rustans and other retailers for years. They are from Quirks Marketing Philippines.

With their mission set, you will definitely see that their products are really fun, innovative and very appealing.

The brands that they carry are the following:

Dwell Studio

I love the funkiness of the design of Dwell Studio. The designs are so vibrant and yet very classy. I actually saved all three catalogs that can be seen in Quirks Marketing Website, so that I would be able to choose from the designs when we have our place designed.

Here a short video of the products:

I love the diaper bags and the weekender bags the most. Check out some of the designs below:

Not only do they have products made for babies and kids, but they also have designs and products for your home.

Kaboost Portable Chair Booster

The first time I saw this product was in Cradle magazine. It reminded me of that one time, when I was a kid, I fell off my chair at home because I was so active. Kids are known to be really active and sometimes, it doesn't hurt if we go the extra mile and have devices, such as the Kaboost, to secure seats and add height to the our kids' chairs.

Check out the simple design of this product:

BabyPlus Prenatal Education System

Another device that may help expectant mothers start having their child learn at an early stage / developmental period. The BabyPlus is a small device that you strap on to your belly for at least an hour, twice daily. This may be done between 18 - 32 weeks of pregnancy. The sounds that the baby will hear are derived sounds that resemble a mother's heartbeat. The rhythm of the sounds increases incrementally as the pregnancy progresses. The BabyPlus sonic pattern introduces your child to a sequential learning process, built upon the natural rhythms of their own environment.

This "auditory exercise" strengthens learning ability during the developmental period when the advantages will be most significant and enduring for a child. BabyPlus is the first educational tool designed for prenatal use that has been proven effective. BabyPlus children have an intellectual, developmental, creative, and emotional advantage from the time they are born.

Your baby can very clearly hear these patterns and they could be taught to distinguish between the sound coming from the mother and those from BabyPlus. Learning begins here.

For more information on where these products are available, please visit Quirks Marketing website.

First Doctor's Check-Up

April 8, 2010 (Thursday)

I'm on leave today and so I woke up around 6:30 am, an hour's difference from the time I normally wake up. Today will be the first check up that I will have with my doctor. My OB is Dra. Annebelle Aherrera.

I'm excited! I really want to know how old's my child. We left the house at 8:30. We reached Maxicare at around 9:45 am. We got a confirmation from Maxicare then we headed to Dra. Aherrera's clinic.

We waited just for a while. They weighed me and I was at 135 pounds. My BP was normal at 110/70. When she was ready for us, EJ and I entered the doctor's office and she quickly examined me. She told me I was pregnant for 5 weeks already! That's 1 month and 1 week. As per the doctor, we still won't hear the heartbeat of the baby, since the heart beat will be heard next week. I will have my transvaginal ultra-sound next week. I'm again excited about that.

I already got to announce in Facebook that I'm pregnant. It's really different having people know that you are pregnant. I'm not used to it but i'm sure I will be pretty soon.

Got to walk this morning. I feel fat! haha! But I don't think I have gained that much weight yet. I'm actually excited to buy maternity clothes, but I think it is too soon. :)

Anxious!

April 5, 2010 (Monday)

It's a Monday - workday. I texted my close friends yesterday that I was pregnant and they were very happy for me. The first person I talked to about this when I went to work was, of course, my boss. He was very happy for me, as well. Then I got to tell the others one by one. I know that they will all be supportive when I do get huge and all 'pregnant-y'. Most of them though couldn't see me having that huge belly in front and still going to work.

My doctor's appointment is on Thursday. I'm taking the day off. I'm actually both excited and a little bit anxious! I don't know if the anxiety is from not working out. I didn't get to work out today, but I plan to walk on the treadmill tomorrow. I feel like my tummy's growing. :)

My Coach - Pregnancy Books

I was planning to get a MiCoach from Adidas, but due to the turn of events, i got a different coach instead.

Guys, meet Heidi Murkoff and Sharon Mazel, the author of What to Expect When You're Expecting and the What to Expect Pregnancy Journal and Organizer. The book is a 586 page book explaining in detail what one should expect on each of the 9 months of being pregnant and finally going into labor.

What I love about the book is that it is so specific when they describe how one should be feeling during a certain month, plus they give assuring and comforting words that what you are feeling is normal. It also gives a lot of FAQs from real life scenarios that one may encounter. It takes into consideration also that each of the expectant moms is a different case and so far, as far as I have read, it addresses these different needs.



April 3, 2010

I bought the What to Expect Journal and Organizer. I wanted to hide it first from my parents and sister, whom we were meeting, but I was so excited that I finally told them about the test. They, of course, told and texted everyone in their phonebook. I showed them the journal and we tried to go through it. It was so deetailed. It even had a guide on what questions should we ask our doctor. It was divided into three main parts: Pregnancy journal, childbirth journal and pregnancy organizer. This journal is really very appealing; I think it will be appealing to 'overly organized' expactant moms like me ;)

So for those expectant moms, or to just those who are still planning to have a child, do buy these two books. They are very useful!

Am I Really Pregnant?

April 2, 2010

I have been feeling weird this past few days. Call it restlessness or stress, but I have been pretty much anxious since I haven't gotten my period which was supposed to come last March 27, 2010. My period normally arrives 'on-the-dot', except for last month, and this month. My last period was Feb. 27, 2010.

So the big question is "Am I pregnant?"

My husband and I are not really trying to have a child yet since it has only been 5 months since our wedding. But of course, if the 'baby' happens, we will be elated.

So with this, I asked my husband to buy home pregnancy tests. He asked me if I was feeling anything. I just mentioned that my breasts were swollen, but girls get that a lot especially when their period is coming. I also felt cramping of the lower abdomen the past two instances I tried to run on the treadmill. I was actually on the General Motors Diet, so I figured this was because of the diet. It was holy week; it was Good Friday to be exact, so all of the stores were closed except 7-11. He did get to buy 4 pieces. I have never done any pregnancy tests before, but the instructions on the packaging were pretty much simple.

I went to the bathroom and got a urine sample and tested it. If one line comes out, it means it is a 'negative'. If two lines show, that means you're pregnant. If no lines show, the test is invalid. Pregnancy tests measure the amount of human choroinic gonadotropin (hCGs) in your urine or blood. Of course, blood tests are more accurate. This hormone is produced right after a fertilized egg attaches to the uterus. This usually happens 6 days after fertilization, but of course, the length of time happens on a case to case basis per person. If you're pregnant, these hormones continue to rise significantly.

So to cut the story and on to the test results, it came out positive. I tried to do it again after a few minutes and it still came out positive. I told my husband and he was ecstatic!

We don't want to get overly excited until we have it tested by my OB. But, yes, I am pregnant!

Photo by: car3less